LNNLIGHTHOUSE NEWS NETWORK

US

It is so damn hot in Texas that a woman baked a loaf of bread in her mail box

Fights at Popeyes without a single can of spinach in sight

America’s top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises

Debate Over Healthcare Reform Derailed by Heated Disagreement on What Healthcare’ Means

GOP Proposes New Amendment: Any News That Makes Republicans Uncomfortable is Fake

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Solve All Problems by Just Renaming Them

Congress Passes Law Making Daylight Savings Time Permanent… Because They’re Tired of Getting Up Early

FBI Launches Nationwide Search for America’s Missing Middle Ground

CDC Recommends New Vaccine to Prevent ‘Political Foot-in-Mouth Disease’

USPS Replaces Mail Trucks with Carrier Pigeons to Cut Costs

Supreme Court Justices Now Required to Wear Mood Rings for ‘Transparency’

Biden Announces New Pet Rock Policy: ‘It’s Got More Brains Than Some Congressmen”

Biden Announces New ‘Sniffing Tax’ to Fund Social Security

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Department of Education Introduces ‘TikTok for Tots’ Learning Program

Biden Announces New ‘Sniffing Tax’ to Fund Social Security

Supreme Court Rules in Favor of ‘Sentient’ AI, Grants Equal Rights and Netflix Subscription

Congress Passes Law Mandating Daily Naps for All Employees, Including the President