Claudia Aisani

Biden’s Secret Weapon: A Time Machine to Remind Voters of the Previous Administration

WASHINGTON — In a bold move to address what White House officials are calling "selective electoral amnesia," President Biden unveiled his administration's latest campaign strategy Wednesday: a time machine designed to transport voters back to "those four years we all try to forget." The device,...

Inflation So High, People Are Trading Money for Candy Bars at the Gas Station

In a shocking turn of events that economists, cashiers, and candy lovers all saw coming, America’s spiraling inflation has driven citizens to a new currency: candy bars. Yes, in a time when the U.S. dollar is practically indistinguishable from Monopoly money, a small but...
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Netflix Introduces ‘Shush’ Feature, Automatically Texts Your Ex to Stop Sharing Your Account

LOS GATOS, CA — In a groundbreaking move that combines cutting-edge technology with passive-aggressive...

Megan Fox Buys Entire Zoo to House Her Growing Collection of Exotic Pets

MALIBU, CA - In a move that has left her concerned neighbors and local...

Trump Announces New Reality Show: ‘The Apprentice: The Return of the Tangerine Tyrant

IN A TOTALLY REAL DEAL, TRUMP ANNOUNCES NEW REALITY SHOW FROM PRISON: 'THE APPRENTICE:...

GOP Proposes New Amendment: Any News That Makes Republicans Uncomfortable is Fake

WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking move to streamline the fact-checking process, Republican lawmakers introduced...

Need a Brand Boost? Sign-teria’s New ‘Possession Package’ Ensures Customers Are Obsessed—Literally

NEW YORK—In response to alarming statistics showing declining brand loyalty among Gen Z consumers,...

Political Ads Announce Candidate is ‘For the People,’ but Not ‘The People’ in Their District

LOCAL CANDIDATE PROUDLY 'FOR THE PEOPLE,' JUST NOT THESE SPECIFIC PEOPLE HERE SPRINGFIELD, IL —...

BTS Jin’s ‘Super Tuna’ Shatters Records, Leaves Critics Wondering If It’s an Oscar Contender

In a development that has sent shockwaves through the ivory tower of film criticism,...

Love Trumps All: The Secret Affair Between Kamala and Donald They Don’t Want You to Know

BREAKING: Love Trumps All - Secret Romance Between Political Titans Rocks Nation WASHINGTON — In...

Beyoncé’s Renaissance Tour: The Only Concert Where You Can Actually Get a Workout

In a revolutionary move that's bound to leave treadmills gathering dust and personal trainers...

Government Announces Plan to Lower Inflation by Asking Citizens to Lower Their Expectations

Brace yourselves, inflation-weary Americans! After months of watching your grocery bills inflate faster than...

Trump’s New Campaign Slogan: ‘I’ll Make America Great Again… Or At Least Less Awful

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a stunning departure from his trademark hyperbole, former President Donald...

World Peace Achieved After Leaders Agree to Settle Disputes via Mario Kart Tournaments

In a stunning turn of events that has left political analysts scrambling for their...
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Latest articles

Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun

CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace...

Steve Bannon Advocates for Trump’s Third Term

WASHINGTON— In a move that has both constitutional scholars and reality itself shaking their...

Kash Patel Unveils ‘Top Secret’ Documents? Wikipedia what?

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking exposé that has left the intelligence community somewhere...

What did European ancestors look like?

Bonkers scientists have unearthed evidence of what the human landscape looked like 10,000 years...