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Jim Nouveau

World news

King Charles says that he is seriously considering buying Wembley Stadium

Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency. And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of...
World news

Prince William says that the photo of him and the Soho pole dancer holding hands was photoshopped

Prince William, who has been known to have a bit of a wandering eye, much like his womanizing uncle Prince Andrew, is denying rumors that he and a very popular pole dancer were spotted holding hands at "The 'Ello Mate Strip Club" in Soho. The...
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Science

Global Warming Causes Record-Breaking Snowfall: Nature’s Way of Saying, I Told You So

PALM SPRINGS, CA - In a development that would have surprised even the most...
World news

Nation Relieved To Discover ‘Interim Government’ Isn’t Actually Permanent This Time

In a rare show of cautious optimism, citizens nationwide are reportedly relieved that the...
Health

Groundbreaking Study: Horizontal Chocolate Consumption Could Add Years to Your Life, Scientists Somehow Conclude

CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what researchers are calling a "revolutionary breakthrough" in nutritional science,...
US

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Solve All Problems by Just Renaming Them

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that would make Marie Kondo blush, the U.S....
Money

Investors Finally Realize They Should’ve Invested in Comic Books Instead

Forget Bitcoin. Forget Dogecoin (who could have predicted a meme about a Shiba Inu...
World news

Global Coffee Shortage Averted: Millennials Switch to Avocado Lattes

SEATTLE, WA - Just as the world braced itself for a dire caffeine apocalypse,...
US

FBI Launches Nationwide Search for America’s Missing Middle Ground

In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation reeling, the Federal...
World news

World’s Billionaires Pool Resources to Build Giant Money Bin, Hire Scrooge McDuck as Consultant

In a move that will surely inspire heartwarming tales of rags-to-riches and the unyielding...
Science

Aliens Finally Contact Earth, Immediately Ask for Netflix Password

NEW YORK CITY – In a development that has left the internet more confused...
World news

World Leaders Agree to Ban Clouds for Causing Too Much Shade

In a move that climatologists are calling "the dumbest thing I've heard since flat-Earthers...
World news

Greta Thunberg Announces ‘Climate Change Olympics’ Featuring Events Like ‘Glacier Melting Relay’ and ‘Sea Level Rise Hurdles’

Move over, Tokyo. Forget about Paris. Forget even about that time they held the...
Science

Scientists Discover Cure for Monday Morning Blues: Just Don’t Get Out of Bed

Rejoice, weary office drones and pajama-clad procrastinators! After years of toiling in the trenches...

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World news

King Charles says that he is seriously considering buying Wembley Stadium

Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to...
World news

Prince William says that the photo of him and the Soho pole dancer holding hands was photoshopped

Prince William, who has been known to have a bit of a wandering eye,...
Entertainment

Reality check: Harry and Meghan are sick and tired?

If Meghan and Harry are sick and tired, can anyone imagine how Donald Trump,...
Money

Fed Delivers Lump of Coal With Latest Interest Rate Hike, Just in Time for Holiday Cheer

In a move guaranteed to inspire carols of despair and a nationwide sugar plum...

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