Bachelor Contestants Now Required to Take ‘Emotional Intelligence’ Course

LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that sent shockwaves (and a few mascara wands flying) through Bachelor Nation, franchise producers announced a groundbreaking new requirement for potential contestants: a mandatory “Emotional Intelligence 101” course.

“We’ve seen a lot of…passion…over the years,” sighed a teary-eyed Chris Harrison during a press conference. “But let’s be honest, folks, sometimes that passion spills over into full-blown meltdowns in cocktail dresses. We’re hoping this new course will equip our contestants with the tools they need to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of finding love on reality TV.”

Celebrity life coach, La-La Love (actual name: Brenda Jenkins), a woman known for her impossibly smooth botoxed forehead and frequent use of the word “journey,” enthusiastically endorsed the decision. “Imagine,” she gushed, “a Bachelor mansion where contestants can truly connect on an emotional level, expressing their vulnerabilities and anxieties in a healthy, constructive manner. It could be a real game-changer for the franchise.”

What Does “Emotional Intelligence” Even Mean Here?

The proposed curriculum reads like a self-help book gone rogue. Expect modules like “Identifying Your Core Wounds Through Crying in the Hot Tub,” “Active Listening: How to Pretend You Care About Chad’s Latest Investment Scheme,” and “The Five Stages of Grief (Specifically After Getting a Rose Revoked).”

Sources close to production claim the course was inspired by a particularly dramatic season where a contestant (allegedly) set fire to a rose during a cocktail party after a perceived slight. Apparently, the producers decided that basic communication skills were no longer optional.

Contestant Reactions: From Skeptical to Enthusiastically Terrified

News of the mandatory course elicited a range of reactions from aspiring Bachelor stars. Whitney, a 24-year-old dental hygienist who lists “loves puppies and adventure” in her bio, expressed unbridled enthusiasm. “This is life-changing! I can finally learn how to express my feelings without throwing a champagne flute. My emotional intelligence journey starts now!”

Mark, a 32-year-old real estate agent with a sculpted jawline and questionable morals, remained unconvinced. “Emotional intelligence? In Bachelor Nation? Come on, people. Where’s the drama in that? I signed up for tears, tantrums, and maybe a good old-fashioned fight over a shrimp cocktail. Not group therapy sessions.”

Then there’s Tiffany, a sassy hairstylist with a penchant for side-eye. “This whole course sounds like a bigger snooze than Chris Harrison explaining the rules for the umpteenth time. Plus, who needs emotional intelligence when you have good hair and a killer cocktail dress?”

Is This Really Happening, or Are We Being Bamboozled?

Hold your skepticism, Bachelor Nation. Turns out, there may be a twist to this tale. A source within the production team (who wished to remain anonymous because, apparently, leaking Bachelor secrets is a major faux pas) revealed that the entire “Emotional Intelligence 101” course might be one elaborate prank.

“Think about it,” the source chuckled. “A Bachelor mansion filled with contestants who can actually communicate and express their feelings in a healthy way? No drama, no meltdowns, just…boring conversations about their dreams and aspirations? Where’s the entertainment value in that?”

So, is this a genuine effort to improve the emotional well-being of reality TV contestants, or a hilarious ploy to generate even more buzz for the upcoming season? Only time (and maybe a strategically placed hidden camera) will tell.

In the meantime, Bachelor Nation, grab your popcorn and settle in. It looks like the only tears we’ll be seeing this season will be those of laughter (or maybe just Chris Harrison’s usual pre-season anxiety tears).

Share your thoughts in the comments below! Do you think “Emotional Intelligence 101” is a good fit for Bachelor contestants? What other ridiculous reality TV trends need to go? Let’s spill the tea! (But please, for the love of all things sparkly, do it with some emotional intelligence.)