Climate News
An earthquake hits China devastating most of the fortune cookie industry
A powerful 8.8 earthquake has hit the Chinese capitol of Hong Kong causing widespread havoc.Boom Boom News (China) reports that the "Shaker" as earthquakes are referred to in China, has devastated the fortune cookie industry.Reports are that approximately 89% of the fortune cookie industry...
Climate News
Scientists Confirm Universe Actually Just Really Elaborate Escape Room
NEW YORK CITY— In a development that would leave even the most seasoned existentialist scratching their head, a team of international researchers has confirmed what many a conspiracy theorist has long suspected: the universe is, in fact, a meticulously designed escape room, built by...
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Climate News
World Leaders Agree to Solve Climate Crisis with Strongly Worded Post-It Notes
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - After weeks of tense negotiations punctuated by lavish hors d'oeuvres and...
Climate News
Marine Biologists Confirm Fish Just Aren’t Trying Anymore
LOS ANGELES (AP) - In a stunning announcement that has sent ripples (or should...
Climate News
Climate Scientists Begin Leaving Passive-Aggressive Post-It Notes On SUVs
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN - In a move that's both innovative and deeply relatable, climate scientists...
Climate News
Scoops of Doom: Climate Scientists Unveil Shocking Link Between Ice Cream and Global Warming
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a groundbreaking revelation that threatens to melt the very foundations...
Climate News
Local Scientist’s Time Machine Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed
FILLMORE, CA - In a development that will leave science fiction fans mildly inconvenienced,...
Climate News
CERN Accidentally Creates Portal To Parallel Universe Where Everything’s The Same Except Hot Dogs Come In Cans
GENEVA—In a groundbreaking yet utterly baffling achievement, scientists at CERN announced today that their...
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Latest articles
US
Charles Barkley says he drinks a case of Bud Light every day and adds F*ck da haters!
One of the greatest players to ever dribble a basketball, Charles Barkley, has said...
Tech
iPhone 16e’s ‘Eco Mode’ Only Works in Sunlight—Apple Calls It Innovation
CUPERTINO, CA—At Apple’s latest product launch event, CEO Tim Cook took the stage under...
Health News
Gen Z Discovers Ultimate Life Hack: Just Sleep Through the Struggle
NEW YORK — In what experts are calling “the logical conclusion of burnout culture,”...
Entertainment
Marvel Rivals Promises ‘Balanced Gameplay’—Then Adds a Literal Planet-Eating God
In a move that has left the gaming community in both awe and utter...