Entertainment
Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun
CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace morale at a perfectly neutral level, Apple announced today the release of Severance: Workplace Edition, a special cut of its hit Apple TV+ series where all elements of fun, intrigue,...
Entertainment
Marvel Rivals Promises ‘Balanced Gameplay’—Then Adds a Literal Planet-Eating God
In a move that has left the gaming community in both awe and utter despair, developers of Marvel Rivals have reassured fans that their highly anticipated team-based shooter will feature “meticulously balanced gameplay,” mere seconds before unveiling a new playable character: Galactus, Devourer of...
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Entertainment
Squid Game’ Creator Announces New Reality Show, ‘Squidward Game,’ Featuring the Adventures of a Depressed Sea Sponge
BREAKING: 'Squid Game' Creator Announces 'Squidward Game,' A Reality Show About Finding Joy In...
Entertainment
Netflix Introduces ‘Shush’ Feature, Automatically Texts Your Ex to Stop Sharing Your Account
LOS GATOS, CA — In a groundbreaking move that combines cutting-edge technology with passive-aggressive...
Entertainment
Megan Fox Buys Entire Zoo to House Her Growing Collection of Exotic Pets
MALIBU, CA - In a move that has left her concerned neighbors and local...
Entertainment
Harry Styles Announces New Album: Fine Line 2: The Fine Line Between Sanity and Insanity
BREAKING: Harry Styles Announces 'Fine Line 2,' Promises Most Authentic Mental Breakdown Yet LOS ANGELES—In...
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John Mulaney to Host Netflix Show: Comedians Worldwide Brace for Existential Crisis
LOS ANGELES, CA - Comedians across the globe are reportedly scrambling for existential counseling...
Entertainment
BTS Jin’s ‘Super Tuna’ Shatters Records, Leaves Critics Wondering If It’s an Oscar Contender
In a development that has sent shockwaves through the ivory tower of film criticism,...
Entertainment
Beyoncé’s Renaissance Tour: The Only Concert Where You Can Actually Get a Workout
In a revolutionary move that's bound to leave treadmills gathering dust and personal trainers...
Entertainment
Christopher Nolan’s Next Film ‘Interstellar 2’ to Be Shot Entirely in Zero Gravity: Cast Requires Extreme Training in ‘Space Yoga’
In a move that will have moviegoers scrambling to dust off their high school...
Entertainment
Harry Styles to Run for President: Campaign Slogan ‘Treat People With Kindness’ (and a Watermelon Sugar Tax)
BREAKING: Harry Styles Announces Presidential Bid, Promises to Replace Electoral College with TikTok Dance-Offs INDIO,...
Entertainment
Kim Kardashian’s New Business Venture: A Kim Kardashian-Themed Escape Room
LOS ANGELES — In a groundbreaking fusion of reality TV entrepreneurship and immersive entertainment,...
Entertainment
Ed Sheeran’s New Song ‘Shape of You’ Actually About a Complex Geometry Problem
Move over, Pythagoras, because Ed Sheeran has just dropped a mathematical masterpiece disguised as...
Movies News
Tom Cruise Reportedly Training for Role in ‘Mission: Impossible 8’ by Attempting to Live on the Moon
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a move that would make even Evel Knievel reconsider his...
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Entertainment
Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun
CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace...
Politics News
Steve Bannon Advocates for Trump’s Third Term
WASHINGTON— In a move that has both constitutional scholars and reality itself shaking their...
Politics News
Kash Patel Unveils ‘Top Secret’ Documents? Wikipedia what?
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking exposé that has left the intelligence community somewhere...
Tech
What did European ancestors look like?
Bonkers scientists have unearthed evidence of what the human landscape looked like 10,000 years...