Entertainment
Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun
CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace morale at a perfectly neutral level, Apple announced today the release of Severance: Workplace Edition, a special cut of its hit Apple TV+ series where all elements of fun, intrigue,...
Entertainment
Marvel Rivals Promises ‘Balanced Gameplay’—Then Adds a Literal Planet-Eating God
In a move that has left the gaming community in both awe and utter despair, developers of Marvel Rivals have reassured fans that their highly anticipated team-based shooter will feature “meticulously balanced gameplay,” mere seconds before unveiling a new playable character: Galactus, Devourer of...
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Entertainment
Jennifer Lawrence Reveals Secret to Her Youth: ‘I Drink a Gallon of Olive Oil a Day
Forget serums, forget lasers, forget the questionable science behind vampire facials – Jennifer Lawrence...
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Stranger Things Season 5 Delayed Indefinitely: Cast Members Now Too Old to Play High School Students
In a shocking turn of events that has left fans scrambling for their Eggo...
Entertainment
Breaking Bad Spin-off ‘Saul Good: The Lawyer Years’ to Feature Saul Goodman’s Early Career as a Pizza Delivery Driver”
Move over, Matlock. Brace yourself, Perry Mason. The legal world is about to witness...
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Harry Potter Fans Discover New Plot Hole: ‘Why Didn’t Dumbledore Just Use a Patronus to Defeat Voldemort?
LONDON - In a development that has left fans fuming and owls in therapy,...
Entertainment
Nicolas Cage Cast as Himself in Groundbreaking Biopic
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a move that's sending shockwaves through the cinematic universe (and...
Entertainment
Bachelor Contestants Now Required to Take ‘Emotional Intelligence’ Course
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a move that sent shockwaves (and a few mascara...
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Barbie’s Sequel: Ken’s Midlife Crisis
Move over, Wonder Woman. Buckle up, Mulan. The next cinematic force to shatter glass...
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World news
Canada is sending the battleship ‘Margaret Trudeau’ to Ukraine
The Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has informed the citziens of Canada that he...
Entertainment
Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun
CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace...
Politics News
Steve Bannon Advocates for Trump’s Third Term
WASHINGTON— In a move that has both constitutional scholars and reality itself shaking their...
Politics News
Kash Patel Unveils ‘Top Secret’ Documents? Wikipedia what?
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking exposé that has left the intelligence community somewhere...