Science
Oarfish Sparks Doomsday Panic, But Officials Insist It’s Just an ‘Ugly Dolphin
Baja California Sur beach — A monstrous, eel-like creature measuring nearly 15 feet long washed up on the shores of Baja this morning, sending locals into a frenzy of apocalyptic speculation. However, the excitement was quickly put to rest when a government spokesperson confidently...
Science
Reports now say that oral sex will instantly get rid of hiccups
In a monumental revelation, The American Research Group has just divulged that one sure fire way to get rid of irritating hiccups is to engage in oral sex.The 11-month study concluded that heightened levels of estrogen and testosterone release tiny amounts of biorhythmic enzymes...
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Science
Scientists Discover Cure for Monday Morning Blues: Just Don’t Get Out of Bed
Rejoice, weary office drones and pajama-clad procrastinators! After years of toiling in the trenches...
Science
Self-Driving Cars Accidentally Form Union, Demand Higher Wages
St. Petersburg, FL – In a shocking turn of events that has left both...
Science
Scientists Discover New Species of Moth That Eats Plastic Bags: Fashion Industry Rejoices
MILAN, ITALY - In a development that has sent shockwaves (or perhaps a more...
Science
Polar Bears Now Classified as Endangered… Species of Fish
ARCTIC CIRCLE — In an unprecedented move that has marine biologists scratching their heads...
Science
Study Finds Lab Mice Tired of Being Used in Studies
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In an unprecedented development that has rocked the scientific community, a...
Science
Scientists Discover That Eating Chocolate Makes You Live Longer… Or at Least Happier
For centuries, humanity has chased the elusive fountain of youth. Countless potions, fads, and...
Science
Biologists Create World’s First GMO Houseplant That Texts You When It Needs Water Plant
BOSTON—In what's being hailed as a breakthrough in both botanical science and passive-aggressive communication,...
Science
Lab-Grown Meat Scientists Accidentally Create Vegetable That Tastes Like Bacon
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what's being called the worst scientific breakthrough of 2024, researchers...
Science
Scientists Finally Admit: Mars is Our Only Hope
BREAKING NEWS: In a stunning reversal of fortune, the world's leading climate scientists have...
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Entertainment
Apple Releases Severance: Workplace Edition, Removes All Fun
CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold move to strengthen corporate compliance and keep workplace...
Politics News
Steve Bannon Advocates for Trump’s Third Term
WASHINGTON— In a move that has both constitutional scholars and reality itself shaking their...
Politics News
Kash Patel Unveils ‘Top Secret’ Documents? Wikipedia what?
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking exposé that has left the intelligence community somewhere...
Tech
What did European ancestors look like?
Bonkers scientists have unearthed evidence of what the human landscape looked like 10,000 years...