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Tsarukyan’s Back? More Like Tsarukyan’s Back OUT!

In a stunning display of athletic commitment that would make a porcelain doll wince, UFC fighter Arman "The Armenian Assassin" Tsarukyan has withdrawn from his highly anticipated bout at UFC 311 due to a gasp injury. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, the man...
Sports

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones dazzles in epic dance-off with Cowboys cheerleaders

The latest rumor to come out of Big D (Dallas) is that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, 80, allegedly engaged in an epic dance-off with two of his team cheerleaders. According to Hollywood Innuendo reporter Sausalito Ole, the two brave dancers who dared to challenge Jones...
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Sports

PGA Tour bans fans from yelling stupid stuff after tee shots

The PGA Tour has announced new rules for fans yelling out really stupid stuff...
Basketball

NBA Announces New Rule: Players Must Be At Least 7 Feet Tall to Dunk

In a move that has left fans scratching their heads and short players contemplating...
NFL

Fried Chicken Is The Favorite Fast Food of The Philadelphia Eagles

PHILADELPHIA - (Sports News) - The Eagles recently took a fast food poll and...
Sports

Golfing Sensation Holly Sonders’ Loves When It Goes In the Hole, And Out, And Back In Again

NEW YORK CITY - (Spoof Sports) - The LPGA is buzzing with news of...
Entertainment

Joaquin Gazpacho, who is Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend, inducted into the Bullfighting Hall of Fame

The bullfighting world is reporting that the world's most famous matador has just been...
Sports

The great Michael Jordan tells Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones he wants to buy his team

The word on the streets of Chicago, the hometown of for Bulls superstar Michael...
Basketball

LeBron James Signs Lifetime Contract with Nike, Becomes Sole Owner of the Company

BEAVERTON, OR — In a historic deal that sent shockwaves through the athletic apparel...
Soccer

Cristiano Ronaldo Signs with MLS Team, Promises to Score 100 Goals a Game

LOS ANGELES— After decades of European soccer dominance, international superstar Cristiano Ronaldo is ready...
Soccer

Lionel Messi Announces Retirement, Immediately Un-Retires

MIAMI, FL — In what experts are calling the most efficient career move in...
Basketball

Taylor Swift and Anson Mount want to buy The Los Angeles Lakers

One of America's most popular celebrity couples, Taylor Swift and Anson Mount, have just...
Baseball

Shohei Ohtani Declares Himself a One-Man League, Demands Trade to Every Team

LOS ANGELES, CA - In a move so audacious it would make Babe Ruth...
Football

The Philadelphia Eagles May Sign Ex-Dallas Cowboy Ezekiel Elliott

PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni has expressed an interest...
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US

White House Confirms: No More ‘Helicopter Parents’ Interfering in Dance Routines

WASHINGTON — In what's being hailed as a landmark victory for America's youth, the...
Money

Economy in Shambles: Countries Now Trading in Memes and TikTok Likes

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - In a move that economists are calling "the most creative economic...
Sports

Tsarukyan’s Back? More Like Tsarukyan’s Back OUT!

In a stunning display of athletic commitment that would make a porcelain doll wince,...
Entertainment

Saif Ali Khan Admits His Beard Has Final Say in All Movie Roles

MUMBAI — In a groundbreaking press conference that sent shockwaves through Bollywood, veteran actor...

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