US
FBI agents have captured one of Al-Qaeda’s sexiest female spies
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has just informed the American public that members of the Federal Bureau of Investigation have just captured one of the terrorist world's most notorious female spies.Miss Jean-Pierre stated that Mira Far Zuni, 29, who is one of...
US
Mayor Adams Swears NYC Congestion Pricing Will Fix the Subway, Bro
NEW YORK — In a bold and definitely foolproof move to improve the city’s notoriously decrepit transit system, Mayor Eric Adams has assured New Yorkers that the new $15 congestion pricing fee will fix the MTA once and for all. “This is the missing...
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US
Charles Barkley says he drinks a case of Bud Light every day and adds F*ck da haters!
One of the greatest players to ever dribble a basketball, Charles Barkley, has said...
US
America’s top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises
President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy,...
US
Supreme Court bans Cialis in a 7-2 decision
The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, has banned the drug Cialis which, as...
US
JD Vance Becomes First Millennial VP; White House Staff Braces for Mandatory Avocado Toast Mondays
WASHINGTON, D.C. – History was made today as JD Vance was sworn in as...
US
Fauci Pardoned Just in Time for His New Role as Masked Singer Judge
In a move that has left both critics and conspiracy theorists scrambling to update...
US
Trump Names Mar-a-Lago Chef as Secretary of State: ‘His Lasagna Has More Layers Than NATO
PALM BEACH, FL — In an unprecedented diplomatic shakeup, Mar-a-Lago's head chef Mario Bianchi...
US
Trump Hires Broadway Choreographer to Make Cabinet Members’ Entrance ‘More Dramatic Than Hamilton
WASHINGTON — In a bold move to ensure his potential return to the presidency...
US
White House Confirms: No More ‘Helicopter Parents’ Interfering in Dance Routines
WASHINGTON — In what's being hailed as a landmark victory for America's youth, the...
US
Congress Passes Bill to Make ‘Please’ Optional in Polite Society
In a groundbreaking legislative move that has left etiquette experts baffled and social media...
US
White House Unveils Groundbreaking “Inflation Reduction Trampoline”: Bounce Your Way to Lower Prices!
In a move that economists are calling "unprecedented" and "possibly the result of a...
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Congress Accidentally Passes Bipartisan Bill, Unsure Who to Blame
WASHINGTON D.C. - A tremor ran through the political landscape this week as a...
US
Poll: 60% of Americans Believe in Democracy, Just Not This Kind”
A Shocking New Revelation About the State of American Democracy In a stunning display of...
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Tech
What did European ancestors look like?
Bonkers scientists have unearthed evidence of what the human landscape looked like 10,000 years...
World news
Zelenskyy’s War Strategy: One Man, One T-Shirt, Infinite Determination
KYIV—In a stunning shift in military strategy, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has announced that...
Science
Oarfish Sparks Doomsday Panic, But Officials Insist It’s Just an ‘Ugly Dolphin
Baja California Sur beach — A monstrous, eel-like creature measuring nearly 15 feet long...
US
FBI agents have captured one of Al-Qaeda’s sexiest female spies
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has just informed the American public that members...