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White House Confirms: No More ‘Helicopter Parents’ Interfering in Dance Routines

WASHINGTON — In what's being hailed as a landmark victory for America's youth, the White House announced today that the upcoming TikTok ban will finally put an end to the nationwide epidemic of parents critiquing their teenagers' dance moves from behind smartphones. "This is a...

Congress Passes Bill to Make ‘Please’ Optional in Polite Society

In a groundbreaking legislative move that has left etiquette experts baffled and social media ablaze, the United States Congress has officially declared the word "please" optional in polite society. This controversial decision, which has been met with mixed reactions, is poised to fundamentally alter...
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White House Unveils Groundbreaking “Inflation Reduction Trampoline”: Bounce Your Way to Lower Prices!

In a move that economists are calling "unprecedented" and "possibly the result of a...

Congress Accidentally Passes Bipartisan Bill, Unsure Who to Blame

WASHINGTON D.C. - A tremor ran through the political landscape this week as a...

Poll: 60% of Americans Believe in Democracy, Just Not This Kind”

A Shocking New Revelation About the State of American Democracy In a stunning display of...

The Yukon Yuckmaker blizzard buries Fargo, North Dakota in eight feet of snow

In a very unusual summer snowstorm, the town of Fargo, North Dakota was hit...

The Los Angeles Police Department hires one of L.A.’s most infamous prostitutes

Los Angeles Channel 107 has just informed the public that the L.A. Police Department...

Avocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage

According to the Vox Populi News Agency, avocado wedding cakes are now the most...

The US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz “asshole of the year”

One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted "Dracula" Cruz has just been...

Breaking: Senators Seen Reading Legislation They Just Passed, Gasps Ensue

WASHINGTON D.C. - In a scene reminiscent of the lost city of Atlantis being...

Debate Over Healthcare Reform Derailed by Heated Disagreement on What Healthcare’ Means

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a display of peak American dysfunction, the much-anticipated healthcare reform...

GOP Proposes New Amendment: Any News That Makes Republicans Uncomfortable is Fake

WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking move to streamline the fact-checking process, Republican lawmakers introduced...

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Solve All Problems by Just Renaming Them

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that would make Marie Kondo blush, the U.S....

Congress Passes Law Making Daylight Savings Time Permanent… Because They’re Tired of Getting Up Early

A Bold Step Towards a Brighter, More Productive Future (Or So They Say) In a...
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Latest articles

White House Confirms: No More ‘Helicopter Parents’ Interfering in Dance Routines

WASHINGTON — In what's being hailed as a landmark victory for America's youth, the...

Economy in Shambles: Countries Now Trading in Memes and TikTok Likes

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - In a move that economists are calling "the most creative economic...

Tsarukyan’s Back? More Like Tsarukyan’s Back OUT!

In a stunning display of athletic commitment that would make a porcelain doll wince,...

Saif Ali Khan Admits His Beard Has Final Say in All Movie Roles

MUMBAI — In a groundbreaking press conference that sent shockwaves through Bollywood, veteran actor...