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Meta Announces New Social Media Platform: ‘Facebook Lite: For People Who Can’t Afford Internet

In a move that's bound to revolutionize the dial-up era, Meta has unveiled its latest social media platform, Facebook Lite. This groundbreaking innovation caters specifically to the underserved demographic of folks who haven't upgraded their internet since the days of AOL compact discs. Think...
Entertainment

The new reality TV show “Secrets” is a bona fide success

The Cosmos News Service is reporting that the latest reality show to hit the airwaves on the Bravisimo Network is "Secrets." The show deals with the sexploits of four Manhattan secretaries who work for a highly reputable Manhattan law firm. Reporter Armada Aquatica writes that the...
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America’s top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises

President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy,...
US

Debate Over Healthcare Reform Derailed by Heated Disagreement on What Healthcare’ Means

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a display of peak American dysfunction, the much-anticipated healthcare reform...
US

GOP Proposes New Amendment: Any News That Makes Republicans Uncomfortable is Fake

WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking move to streamline the fact-checking process, Republican lawmakers introduced...
US

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Solve All Problems by Just Renaming Them

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that would make Marie Kondo blush, the U.S....
US

Congress Passes Law Making Daylight Savings Time Permanent… Because They’re Tired of Getting Up Early

A Bold Step Towards a Brighter, More Productive Future (Or So They Say) In a...
US

FBI Launches Nationwide Search for America’s Missing Middle Ground

In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation reeling, the Federal...
US

CDC Recommends New Vaccine to Prevent ‘Political Foot-in-Mouth Disease’

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a press conference riddled with nervous coughs and awkward silences,...
US

Department of Education Introduces ‘TikTok for Tots’ Learning Program

WASHINGTON D.C. - In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize education for the...
US

USPS Replaces Mail Trucks with Carrier Pigeons to Cut Costs

Philadelphia - In a move that would make Benjamin Franklin himself do a double-take,...
US

Supreme Court Justices Now Required to Wear Mood Rings for ‘Transparency’

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move lauded by proponents of "increased judicial openness" and...
US

Biden Announces New Pet Rock Policy: ‘It’s Got More Brains Than Some Congressmen”

WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented move to address congressional gridlock, President Joe Biden unveiled...
US

Biden Announces New ‘Sniffing Tax’ to Fund Social Security

WASHINGTON — In a bold move to address the looming Social Security crisis, President...
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Tech

Meta Announces New Social Media Platform: ‘Facebook Lite: For People Who Can’t Afford Internet

In a move that's bound to revolutionize the dial-up era, Meta has unveiled its...
Entertainment

The new reality TV show “Secrets” is a bona fide success

The Cosmos News Service is reporting that the latest reality show to hit the...
Entertainment

Kim Kardashian goes commando

The most popular of the Kardashian klan is certainly not shy about making a...
Business

The nation’s number one lipstick is Cover Chick Cosmetic’s ‘Sultry’

The lipstick industry has just gotten the biggest boost since waterproof lipstick as "Sultry,"...

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