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Fed Delivers Lump of Coal With Latest Interest Rate Hike, Just in Time for Holiday Cheer

In a move guaranteed to inspire carols of despair and a nationwide sugar plum shortage, the Federal Reserve announced another interest rate hike this week, perfectly timed to maximize holiday financial stress. The decision, lauded by economists for its "unwavering commitment to holiday cheer,"...

Meta Announces New Social Media Platform: ‘Facebook Lite: For People Who Can’t Afford Internet

In a move that's bound to revolutionize the dial-up era, Meta has unveiled its latest social media platform, Facebook Lite. This groundbreaking innovation caters specifically to the underserved demographic of folks who haven't upgraded their internet since the days of AOL compact discs. Think...
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AI Chatbot Elected President of Small Nation, Promises to ‘Definitely Not Enslave Humanity

DIGITALIA—In a historic and normal democratic process, the small island nation of Digitalia made...

Global Coffee Shortage Averted: Millennials Switch to Avocado Lattes

SEATTLE, WA - Just as the world braced itself for a dire caffeine apocalypse,...

World Peace Achieved After Leaders Agree to Settle Disputes via Mario Kart Tournaments

In a stunning turn of events that has left political analysts scrambling for their...

World’s Billionaires Pool Resources to Build Giant Money Bin, Hire Scrooge McDuck as Consultant

In a move that will surely inspire heartwarming tales of rags-to-riches and the unyielding...

Boris Johnson Announces New Political Party: ‘The Brexit Remorse Party’

LONDON—In a stunning turn of events that left political pundits speechless and hairdressers nationwide...

World Leaders Agree to Ban Clouds for Causing Too Much Shade

In a move that climatologists are calling "the dumbest thing I've heard since flat-Earthers...

Greta Thunberg Announces ‘Climate Change Olympics’ Featuring Events Like ‘Glacier Melting Relay’ and ‘Sea Level Rise Hurdles’

Move over, Tokyo. Forget about Paris. Forget even about that time they held the...

Kim Jong-un Opens New Theme Park Featuring ‘Rocket Roller Coaster’ and ‘Nuke N’ Chill’ Ride

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — In a move that has left the international community both...

Scientists Discover New Ice Age Caused by Excessive Polar Bear Selfies

The world is experiencing an unprecedented cooling trend, with temperatures plummeting faster than a...

Putin Claims to Have Invented Time Travel to Explain Past Failures

MOSCOW—In a shocking turn of events that has left the international community baffled, Russian...

Australia Bans Kangaroos from Hopping, Citing ‘Noise Pollution

CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA — In an unprecedented move that has marsupials hopping mad, the Australian...

Pope Francis Announces New ‘Papal Swag’ Line: ‘Hats, T-Shirts, and Holy Water Bottles

VATICAN CITY — In a move that sent shockwaves through both religious and streetwear...

Latest articles

Fed Delivers Lump of Coal With Latest Interest Rate Hike, Just in Time for Holiday Cheer

In a move guaranteed to inspire carols of despair and a nationwide sugar plum...

Meta Announces New Social Media Platform: ‘Facebook Lite: For People Who Can’t Afford Internet

In a move that's bound to revolutionize the dial-up era, Meta has unveiled its...

The new reality TV show “Secrets” is a bona fide success

The Cosmos News Service is reporting that the latest reality show to hit the...

Kim Kardashian goes commando

The most popular of the Kardashian klan is certainly not shy about making a...