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Andrew Tate Launches ‘Top G Prison Survival 101’
BUCHAREST, ROMANIA — In a stunning move that no one asked for, self-proclaimed “Top G” and part-time legal defendant Andrew Tate has officially announced his latest educational endeavor: Top G Prison Survival 101—an online course designed to help “real men” maintain dominance while serving...
World news
Trump’s ‘Art of the Deal’ Notes Go Missing, Blames Zelensky for Lack of Evidence
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events that has left the international community both baffled and mildly amused, President Donald Trump has accused Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky of pilfering his sacred "Art of the Deal" notes. The alleged theft, which Trump claims...
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Australia Bans Kangaroos from Hopping, Citing ‘Noise Pollution
CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA — In an unprecedented move that has marsupials hopping mad, the Australian...
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Pope Francis Announces New ‘Papal Swag’ Line: ‘Hats, T-Shirts, and Holy Water Bottles
VATICAN CITY — In a move that sent shockwaves through both religious and streetwear...
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UK Prime Minister Resigns Again: ‘Just Kidding, I Forgot I Had a Job
LONDON—In what’s becoming a weekly tradition as predictable as the Queen’s speech, the UK’s...
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China Unveils New ‘Peacekeeper’ Drone: Comes with Built-in Tea Kettle
BEIJING — In what officials are calling a "revolutionary breakthrough in humanitarian surveillance," the...
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Greta Thunberg Shakes Up Foodie Scene with “The ‘I’m Not Eating Meat’ Diner”
Europe - Move over, Impossible Burgers and Beyond Sausages, because there's a new sheriff...
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Sports
A 101-year-old Texas oil billionaire marries an extremely gorgeous 22-year-old Dallas Cowboys cheerleader
Sports Territory Magazine has just broken the story that one of the richest oilmen...
Sports
Major League Baseball will now issue fines to players who spit their chewing tobacco on the dugout floor
The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that MLB Commissioner Rob "The Man" Manfred is...
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The Franke Family’s Guide to Extreme Parenting: A Survival Reality Show
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - In a shocking turn of events that has left...
Business
Nation Horrified by Sudden Realization They Can’t Spend Money for One Day
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a shocking turn of events that has left millions of...