We’ve all seen Twitter and all it has to offer. Since Elon took over there are more ads from bizarre companies than ever. What a capitalist age we live in.
But no, I’m not talking about that. Nor about all the Go Fund Me or Only Fans Twitter Hos. Sell your body for $3.50 a day, and you too can live in a highrise and drive a Maserati and cuddle with your fav Pomeranian as you stick your ass into the camera and ask, “Wanna be my slave?”
But no! I’m not even talking about those gals (and some guys).
I’m talking POPEYE FIGHTS!!!!
The chicken chain in the USA may soon be holding the UFC Championship in one of its many locations.
Ding Ding, goes the bell, and Shawanda is ready to rumble against Shaniqua – who dissed her man and insulted her fat ass and now MUST PAY!
As uniformed Popeye employees deftly maneuver around the fighters in baggy sweatshirts and advertising track pants (brand marketing gets endorsement deals … just sayin’, ladies) without themselves getting pulled into the rumble, the gals yank each other’s hair extensions and smack and slap and maybe bite until finally on of them falls.
Shaniqua jumps on top of her fallen foe and straddles her to bring the secret weapon – the HAMMER FIST!
Oh no you di’n’t!
Wham wham wham and wake me up before you go-go – but that slut ain’t getting’ up any time soon – not until the employees speed-dial the cops – who take their sweet time showing up and ordering a bucket of legs and thighs and some plastic-tasting macaroni salad!
Gravy costs extra – Extra – EXTRA!!!
And still, no one knows why Popeyes is the place for all the best and brightest (and largely female) fighters. Something in the chicken? I’ve never been to one of these establishments, but if they have a special sauce that fires up the blood … then BRING ON THE PAIN!
If you want to see two or more girls beat the living shit out of each other – but only after they’ve finished their Bucket ‘O Crispy Chicken Necks – then head on down to Popeyes.
You don’t have to chug a can of spinach to get into the chicken coop of death … just dis that ho’s man – and IT IS ON!!!!!
