In a move that has left the gaming community in both awe and utter despair, developers of Marvel Rivals have reassured fans that their highly anticipated team-based shooter will feature “meticulously balanced gameplay,” mere seconds before unveiling a new playable character: Galactus, Devourer of Worlds.
The announcement, which was delivered during a live developer stream, promised that every hero and villain in the game would have “clear strengths and weaknesses” to ensure fair competition. Then, without skipping a beat, the stream cut to gameplay footage of Galactus vaporizing entire teams with a single, disinterested exhale.
“We worked really hard to make sure Marvel Rivals is a skill-based, competitive experience,” said lead game designer Josh Matthews, standing before a giant promotional banner that simply read “ALL HAIL GALACTUS.” “Every hero is viable in their own way—whether you’re playing as Spider-Man, Black Panther, or a celestial god who physically sustains himself by consuming entire planets.”
Matthews then assured players that despite his cosmic-scale abilities, Galactus would be “totally fair” since he can only use his “Universal Annihilation” ability once per match. “And even then, only if he collects enough energy, which—granted—he does every five seconds just by standing still,” he added.
The Community Reacts: “Oh Cool, A 400-Foot-Tall God in a 6v6 Shooter”
While some fans were excited about the addition of an all-powerful, godlike being to a game that was originally meant to be about “teamwork and strategy,” others were quick to point out that there is no conceivable way Galactus can be balanced.
“I was in a match earlier, and we were holding our ground really well,” said Reddit user @HawkeyeMain69. “Then the enemy team unlocked Galactus, and within three seconds, he had absorbed the entire battlefield into a black hole.”
One clip circulating online shows an Iron Man player unleashing his full arsenal of missiles, repulsor blasts, and unbridled desperation against Galactus, only for the cosmic entity to absorb the attack like a light summer breeze before casually wiping out the entire map with a lazy flick of his pinky.
“I get that Marvel has powerful characters,” said Twitch streamer CaptainSalty, whose channel is now dedicated exclusively to ranting about Marvel Rivals’ matchmaking. “But at what point do we acknowledge that a giant, interdimensional force of nature that eats planets for brunch maybe doesn’t belong in a 6v6 multiplayer shooter?”
Developers Assure Fans: “Other Characters Are Just As Powerful, If You Think About It”
In response to complaints, Marvel Rivals’ developers released a statement insisting that Galactus is not overpoweredand that “other characters have just as much potential—if used correctly.”
For example, they claim:
- Black Widow can “totally hold her own” against Galactus by utilizing her stealth abilities, which allow her to remain undetected for approximately three more seconds before being atomized.
- Hawkeye’s arrows are “a viable counter” to Galactus, since they do slightly more damage than throwing wet spaghetti noodles at him.
- Groot can “technically survive longer” against Galactus—by virtue of being a tree and thus harder to notice until the very end of the world-consuming process.
“We really want players to experiment with different heroes,” said Matthews. “Remember, teamwork is key! If your entire team coordinates their attacks perfectly, you might be able to reduce Galactus’ health bar by 2%.”
Pay-to-Win Concerns Grow: “You Can Literally Buy The Universe”
On top of gameplay concerns, fans are also raising eyebrows at Marvel Rivals’ microtransaction system, which seems designed specifically to make Galactus even more unstoppable.
According to leaked details, players can purchase the “Galactus Omnipotence Bundle” for $99.99, which unlocks the following perks:
- Instant Match Win: If Galactus is on your team, you simply win before the match even starts.
- Extra World-Devouring Energy: Allows Galactus to eat two planets per match instead of one.
- A Voice Line That Says ‘You Are Insignificant’ in 40 Different Languages.
“Look, we don’t want to create a pay-to-win scenario,” said a Marvel Rivals spokesperson. “But we also recognize that some players really want to accelerate their cosmic domination journey.”
What’s Next? “Even Bigger Characters.”
Despite overwhelming backlash, the developers appear completely unfazed, already teasing even larger and more destructive characters.
“We hear you,” Matthews said during a Q&A session. “That’s why we’re excited to announce that in the next patch, we’ll be adding Eternity, the literal embodiment of all existence.”
Other rumored additions include:
- The Living Tribunal, whose special ability is instantly deciding the outcome of the match before it begins.
- The Beyonder, whose power is so overwhelming that loading the character crashes the game.
- A Playable Stan Lee, who doesn’t actually fight, but wins every match purely out of respect.
With Marvel Rivals continuing to redefine what “balanced” means, one thing is clear: competitive shooters will never be the same again. Mostly because they won’t exist once Galactus has finished consuming reality.
