The world population of polar bears has greatly declined over the past 10 years, scientists say, and it’s not due to poachers, fur coat salesmen, nor Lady Gaga. They all die from drowning!
With much of the ice of the Arctic gone, the bears are quickly trying to learn to swim, but their claws aren’t webbed, and their fur coats are very heavy … so they sink.
Can the world see another species die at the hands of Man? Will some geneticist try to clone the polar bears … only to watch them die again since the world is only getting warmer?
Fashion experts have also put in their two cents about the disappearance of polar bears. “What about all that gorgeous, all-natural white fur? I know fur is murder, but I love the look! I’d put polar bears on the fashion runways of Milan and Paris if someone can trap and relocate and torment the bloody things for me.”
Will the remaining polar bears have careers trudging – not across the cold wastelands of ice – but across runways where emaciated models usually inhabit and make their nests?
No more bears will have to drown in sea water; instead, they’ll be given lucrative contracts as hot new sexy fur models with a bad attitudes and great hips!
See, all you tree-huggers, dying animals can still serve Man … as they were meant to do.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
